You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though I'd be able to do it the way I wanted to do it.
Copy QuoteI may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Copy Quote View & ShareIf you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.
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