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I'm no good at anything but comedy, which I think I'm good at. I'm absolutely no good at networking; I'm terrible at acting; I'm terrible at dealing with executives; I'm terrible at collaborating. And I say whatever I want to say. But I think I'm good enough at comedy that I can survive. And I don't really have an ambition for money.

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A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom.

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The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax.

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Never spend your money before you have earned it.

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There's no such thing as a free lunch.

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A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart.

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Profit is sweet, even if it comes from deception.

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I'd like to live as a poor man with lots of money.

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Money cannot buy peace of mind. It cannot heal ruptured relationships, or build meaning into a life that has none.

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Never confuse the size of your paycheck with the size of your talent.

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That money talks, I'll not deny, I heard it once: It said, 'Goodbye'.

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