I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest.
The past actually happened but history is only what someone wrote down.
