Chris Rock quotes

Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.

A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.

I love being famous. It's almost like being white.

Show me one guy or woman as funny as Rodney Dangerfield or as good as George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, or Joan Rivers. There are a lot of good comics out there, no doubt, but as far as the quality of the comics goes, I think what you have is a bunch of situational comics.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

There's some downsides to being famous, which are not even worth mentioning. But to combat the bad sides of being famous, you really should take advantage of the good sides. The good sides are, you can use that fame to get projects you might not normally get.

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?

Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie.

Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

It's like, hmm, there's people with $2000 weaves that could have bought health care with that weave money. They don't have insurance. People want what they want. And I guess that is a reason we have this big credit card problem and a lot of these foreclosures.

Music is the soundtrack to the crappy movie that is my life.