H L Mencken quotes

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.

The only really happy folk are married women and single men.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches. But there has never lived a man so philosophical that he could see the toothache in his own humor.

The chief contribution of Protestantism to human thought is its massive proof that God is a bore.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?

In war the heroes always outnumber the soldiers ten to one.

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.

Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time.

War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.

Nine times out of ten, in the arts as in life, there is actually no truth to be discovered; there is only error to be exposed.

The only really happy folk are married women and single men.

I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time.

The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.

A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.

In war the heroes always outnumber the soldiers ten to one.

Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.

Women always excel men in that sort of wisdom which comes from experience. To be a woman is in itself a terrible experience.

We must be willing to pay a price for freedom.

A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a mass baptism and a couple of hangings thrown in.

I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave. And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.

Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.

I hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes sports hates common sense.

The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line.

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.

No one in this world, so far as I know - and I have searched the records for years, and employed agents to help me - has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people.

It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods.

I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time.

If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.

Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies.

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.

Women have simple tastes. They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in love.

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

In war the heroes always outnumber the soldiers ten to one.

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line.

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

No one in this world, so far as I know - and I have searched the records for years, and employed agents to help me - has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people.

Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.

Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.

Women always excel men in that sort of wisdom which comes from experience. To be a woman is in itself a terrible experience.

The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable.

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.

No one in this world, so far as I know - and I have searched the records for years, and employed agents to help me - has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people.

God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

Poetry has done enough when it charms, but prose must also convince.

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line.

The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

Each party steals so many articles of faith from the other, and the candidates spend so much time making each other's speeches, that by the time election day is past there is nothing much to do save turn the sitting rascals out and let a new gang in.

War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The worst government is often the most moral. One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane. But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.

Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.

In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.

The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear - fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexplicable. What he wants above everything else is safety.

It is not materialism that is the chief curse of the world, as pastors teach, but idealism. Men get into trouble by taking their visions and hallucinations too seriously.

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.

War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe. Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end.

One of the most mawkish of human delusions is the notion that friendship should be eternal, or, at all events, life-long, and that any act which puts a term to it is somehow discreditable.

For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe. Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end.

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.

In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.