Jay Leno quotes

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.

You're not famous until my mother has heard of you.

Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, because they say fans fight over them and they get hurt. In fact, the Florida Marlins said that's why they never hit any home runs. It's a safety issue.

You aren't famous until my mother has heard of you.

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.