Jeff Foxworthy quotes

It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.

I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.

We're all screwed up. And the way Christians mess things up is we act like we've got it going on. And if we would just stay in that place of, 'Hey, we're all screwed up and but for the grace of God, none of us have a shot here.' We need to have a sense of humor about it; that's kind of the way I've always faced my comedy.

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.

My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.

For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.

Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'