John Cleese quotes

I want to write a book which is the history of comedy.

I can't tell you how scary it can be walking onto a movie and suddenly joining this family, it's like going to somebody else's Christmas dinner, everyone knows everyone, and you're there and you're not quite sure what you're supposed to be doing.

You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change.

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

I was always a sports nut but I've lost interest now in whether one bunch of mercenaries in north London is going to beat another bunch of mercenaries from west London.

He who laughs most, learns best.

I had a very, very difficult relationship with my mother, who was supremely self-centred. She was hilariously self-centred. She did not really take interest in anything that didn't immediately affect her.

He who laughs most, learns best.

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.

I was very sad to hear of the death of Ronnie Barker, who was such a warm, friendly and encouraging presence to have when I started in television. He was also a great comic actor to learn from.

If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you more open to my ideas. And if I can persuade you to laugh at the particular point I make, by laughing at it you acknowledge its truth.

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Michael Palin decided to give up on his considerable comedy talents to make those dreadfully tedious travel shows. Have you ever tried to watch one?

You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change.