Josh Billings quotes

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.

There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.

If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety.

Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.

Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe.

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.

Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.

There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't.

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.

Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.

The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.

There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.

Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.

There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us.

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.

Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe.

As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.

Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.

I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.