Lewis Grizzard quotes

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.

Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.

Things are more complex today, and I think humor has changed a a great deal. People are more sensitive today.

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

I don't think I'm a bigot or a racist. But I have a truck, a Blazer. I drink beer. There are some women I do hate.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

Yankees don't understand that the Southern way of talking is a language of nuance. What we can do in the South is we can take a word and change it just a little bit and make it mean something altogether different.