Ogden Nash quotes

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

Women would rather be right than reasonable.

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying them without money?

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying them without money?

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.