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Peter Kay quotes

That's basically all my act is - it's just listening all the time and watching for what people do with their hands and so on. It gets on people's nerves a bit - especially when you're at a wedding and you're scribbling on a table and they go 'stop doing that' and you go 'I can't.'

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The truth is my dad was a lovely man who had to retire early from his job as an engineer because he had osteoporosis. It meant he was forced to wear a harness and could hardly breathe.

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