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Robert Benchley quotes

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

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A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

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Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

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I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

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There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.

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In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

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Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

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I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

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Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

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