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Steve Allen quotes

Totalitarianism is patriotism institutionalized.

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Ours is a government of checks and balances. The Mafia and crooked businessmen make out checks, and the politicians and other compromised officials improve their bank balances.

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In general, the straight line of a joke sets up a premise, an expectation. Then the funny ending - the punch line - in a sense contradicts the original assumption by refusing to follow what had seemed a reasonable train of thought. Many jokes involve that simple matter of leaping outside what had appeared to be the rules of the game at the moment.

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If there is a God, the phrase that must disgust him is - holy war.

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Humor is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots.

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We will take almost any kind of criticism except the observation that we have no sense of humor.

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If there is a God, the phrase that must disgust him is - holy war.

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