Funny Quotes

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.

Kevin Hart. He's the man! I like his style. He's short, so I can relate. All the stories he tells are real. I respect that, and he's just a really funny dude - great comedy instincts. To do stand-up on a stage for an hour and tell stories and make people laugh is incredible.

The tour bus is always fun, and there's plenty of time to watch movies. Actually, Kanye introduced me to the movie 'Step Brothers.' We were sitting there, watching it and clowning around - it was so funny, man.

Novels are not about expressing yourself, they're about something beautiful, funny, clever and organic. Self-expression? Go and ring a bell in a yard if you want to express yourself.

The 'Billionaire' song is what my kids tease me with. They sing it to me. It's funny.

The show is definitely not just about weight-loss physically. It's more about finding yourself. It's really funny because I realized at one of our table reads that 'Huge' was really about the weight that we carry around mentally.

Elvis used to have parties at his house - and I've told this story a million times - but they weren't really parties, because there was no chips or dip. Just Elvis and his boys watching TV, and him making funny comments, and everybody laughing at them. Is that a party? Not really. But that's Hollywood.

I'd rather not have a moment when I'm known for my looks; being funny and interesting lasts longer.

There's something dangerous about what's funny. Jarring and disconcerting. There is a connection between funny and scary.

It's funny, but you get to a time in your life when you think you have all the friends you will ever have.

It's funny, I do try to maintain health. I started doing Bikram yoga which is that hothouse yoga, the 105 degrees yoga for 90 minutes. It's great, you purge out all the sweat and you're drinking water.

I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.

I like bowling. I suck at it, but I like it. You know what's so funny? I have days when I'm absolutely great at doing it, and then I have days when I just don't understand it.

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.

Reality is like a doughnut: Everything that is good and funny and juicy is outside the center, which is just emptiness.

I'm not a quick wit. I'm only funny on paper. I mean, I'm not totally humorless! It's just that in person, I'm not quite the way I am on paper.

I was always the class clown. I was always the funny one.

I never smoked. I never drank and I never took drugs. The funny thing is, nothing is more boring, people like this. For me, it's OK. But most of my friends, at least they smoke and drink.

I love readings and my readers, but the din of voices of the audience gives me stage fright, and the din of voices inside whisper that I am a fraud, and that the jig is up. Surely someone will rise up from the audience and say out loud that not only am I not funny and helpful, but I'm annoying, and a phony.

I tell you, it's funny because the only time I think about HIV is when I have to take my medicine twice a day.