My mum, she loves a bargain hunt. You can't buy her anything expensive. I remember I bought her a diamond bracelet for her birthday. I was being a nice son! She told me to take it back.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.
