If you look at everything I do - even in 'Boo!' there's a message, and it's always 'faith, family, forgiveness.' That's the greatest gift that I've been given. I can get a message to the very people I grew up with, the millions who love what I do.
You can't really be strong until you see a funny side to things.
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.
