Jonathan Winters - Funny Quotes | equotes

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Bare hands grip success better than kid gloves. Be thorough in all things, no matter how small or distasteful! The man who counts his hours and kicks about his salary is a self-elected failure.

I have never pretended to be any kind of super-religious kind of man, but I feel very strongly that you can be funny without being dirty.

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Jonathan Winters

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

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Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

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No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.

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Abraham Lincoln

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

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I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

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Winston Churchill

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

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I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

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Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

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My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

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If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.

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Theodore Roosevelt

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