I put my parents through mini hell with my laziness and poor grades, so I love making them laugh when they see me on television. When I work, I'm always thinking, 'Would my mother find this funny?' The belly-laugh jokes will hit her every time.
Copy QuoteI may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Copy Quote View & ShareIf you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.
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