Dave Chappelle - Funny Quotes | equotes

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I don't think it's more important to preserve female friendship than a marriage. But I think that there's a place for female friendship that's really important in the lives of all the women I know. As I've gotten older, it's become much more important to me.

Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you're interested in being funny, New York is the place to go.

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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

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Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

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No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.

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Abraham Lincoln

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

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I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

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Winston Churchill

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

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I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

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Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

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My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

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If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.

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Theodore Roosevelt

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