Norm MacDonald - Funny Quotes | equotes

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When I first started designing sportswear, I felt that women weren't represented in sports performance. I felt that men were dressed really well both technically and visually, and women were almost like an afterthought.

I'd say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he's just, he's talking about serious things, but in a funny way. Other comedians will talk about serious things in a serious way, and then you don't know what's going on.

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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

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Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

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No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.

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Abraham Lincoln

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

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I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

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Winston Churchill

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

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I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

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Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

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My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

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If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.

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Theodore Roosevelt

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