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When I last looked, there weren't queues of eager guys under 40 hanging outside single ladies' doors begging them to give up work and have their babies. It takes two to tango and the same number, without medical help, to make a child.

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The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.

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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

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Illness is the doctor to whom we pay most heed; to kindness, to knowledge, we make promise only; pain we obey.

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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

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A hospital is no place to be sick.

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For the mind disturbed, the still beauty of dawn is nature's finest balm.

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You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.

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They certainly give very strange names to diseases.

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You can die of the cure before you die of the illness.

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In the name of Hypocrites, doctors have invented the most exquisite form of torture ever known to man: survival.

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