When I was a child, I always went to my grandmother's house in Nuremberg for Christmas. My uncle would leave the room, saying he needed the toilet, and then he would reappear dressed as Santa Claus. I was really scared - I'd have to go and hide behind an armchair.
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.
