Funny Quotes

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

They're just jokes, people. They can't all be funny.

I love shifting between being super cute and aggressive. It's funny.

One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys, another sells, and both think they are astute.

You know what's funny to me? Attitude.

Part of my act is meant to shake you up. It looks like I'm being funny, but I'm reminding you of other things. Life is tough, darling. Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything; otherwise, we're going down the tube.

You can't really be strong until you see a funny side to things.

I used to stutter really badly. Everybody thinks it's funny. And it's not funny. It's not.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.

Censorship no longer works by hiding information from you; censorship works by flooding you with immense amounts of misinformation, of irrelevant information, of funny cat videos, until you're just unable to focus.

Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.

That's the funny thing about time. It is only in looking back that it's easy to connect the dots. To see exactly why everything needed to happen the way that it did.

I am blessed with a funny gene that makes me enjoy life.

In my circle of friends, I've always been loud and funny and talkative. But as soon as I step out of that circle, I get very quiet and introspective. I don't want the spotlight on me.

Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.

People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing silly stuff you're not tempted to put swearing in. All the comics from my childhood, who were funny without swearing, were the people that influenced me. What I do is quite traditional anyway.

It's funny how most people love the dead, once you're dead, you're made for life.

Design is a funny word. Some people think design means how it looks. But of course, if you dig deeper, it's really how it works.

Life is funny. If you don't laugh, you're in trouble.