Holi kab hai ... kab hai Holi, kab?

When is Holi ... when is Holi, when?

Ramzan mein bhi toh "Ram" hota hai ... aur Diwali mein "Ali"

In Ramzan there is God "Ram" ... and in Diwali there is God "Ali"

Pachaas pachaas kos door jab gaon mein Holi hoti hai ... toh maa kehti hai sooja beti sooja ... varna apni pichkaari lekar Jabbar aa jayega

When there is Holi in a village fifty kilometers from here ... then the mom says sleep my girl ... or else Jabbar will come with his water gun

Sex ... kaunsa sex? ... pichle baar 2013 mein Bhai Dooj ke time mein hua tha yeh

Sex ... what sex? ... the last time we did it was in 2013 during the Bhai Dooj festival

Agar roze nahi rakhe ... toh phir Eid ka kya maza

If you don't fast ... then there's no fun in celebrating Eid

Issi ghar mein aayegi aap ki doli ... and wishing you a very happy Holi

You will get married in this house ... and wishing you a very happy Holi

Yeh Kamasutra ka desh hai ... joh hum mein apne shareer ka, apni aatma ka, apni kamana ka, apni manavata ka utsav manana sikhata hai

This is the country of Kamasutra ... which teaches us to celebrate the festival of our body, our soul, our wish, our humanity

Maarunga kanpati pe ... dard mitega Ganpati pe

I'll hit you behind your ears ... and the pain will last till the festival of Lord Ganesha

Barood ke canister pe behet ke Diwali nahi manayi jaati hai ... barood ke canister se manayi jaati hai

You don't celebrate Diwali by sitting on the canister of gunpowder ... you celebrate by using the canister of gunpowder

Aaj nag panchami hai kya? ... phir yeh saanp ko doodh kyun pila rahe ho?

Is today the festival of snakes? ... then why are you feeding milk to this snake?