Festival Dialogues

Holi kab hai ... kab hai Holi, kab?

When is Holi ... when is Holi, when?

Ramzan mein bhi toh "Ram" hota hai ... aur Diwali mein "Ali"

In Ramzan there is God "Ram" ... and in Diwali there is God "Ali"

Pachaas pachaas kos door jab gaon mein Holi hoti hai ... toh maa kehti hai sooja beti sooja ... varna apni pichkaari lekar Jabbar aa jayega

When there is Holi in a village fifty kilometers from here ... then the mom says sleep my girl ... or else Jabbar will come with his water gun

Sex ... kaunsa sex? ... pichle baar 2013 mein Bhai Dooj ke time mein hua tha yeh

Sex ... what sex? ... the last time we did it was in 2013 during the Bhai Dooj festival

Agar roze nahi rakhe ... toh phir Eid ka kya maza

If you don't fast ... then there's no fun in celebrating Eid

Issi ghar mein aayegi aap ki doli ... and wishing you a very happy Holi

You will get married in this house ... and wishing you a very happy Holi

Yeh Kamasutra ka desh hai ... joh hum mein apne shareer ka, apni aatma ka, apni kamana ka, apni manavata ka utsav manana sikhata hai

This is the country of Kamasutra ... which teaches us to celebrate the festival of our body, our soul, our wish, our humanity

Barood ke canister pe behet ke Diwali nahi manayi jaati hai ... barood ke canister se manayi jaati hai

You don't celebrate Diwali by sitting on the canister of gunpowder ... you celebrate by using the canister of gunpowder

Maarunga kanpati pe ... dard mitega Ganpati pe

I'll hit you behind your ears ... and the pain will last till the festival of Lord Ganesha

Aaj nag panchami hai kya? ... phir yeh saanp ko doodh kyun pila rahe ho?

Is today the festival of snakes? ... then why are you feeding milk to this snake?

Holi khelne ka shaunk hai ... par teri pichkari mein dum nahin

You like to play Holi ... but your water gun is useless

Har Ram ka apna Ravan ... har Ram ka apna Dussehra

Every Lord Rama has his own Ravana ... every Lord Rama has his own festival of Dussehra

Diwali kab hai ... kab hai Diwali!

When is Diwali ... when is Diwali!

Wife dil hai toh husband dhadkan ... wife diya hai toh husband Diwali ... wife zubaan hai toh husband gaali

If wife is a heart then husband is the heartbeat ... if wife is a lamp then husband is Diwali ... if wife is a speech then husband is a curse

Tum har saal Raavan ko isliye jalate ho, kyun ki tum jaante ho ... woh kabhi nahin marta

You burn Raavan every year, because you know that ... he never dies

Christmas mein sab log bolte hai na Santa aayega, Santa aayega ... sabko pata hai ghanta aayega

In Christmas everyone says that Santa Claus will come ... but everyone knows that no one will come

Radhe jaane ke liye nahi, bhejne ke liye aaya hai ... aur tere hisse ki biryani hum sab mil-baant kar khayenge ... aur bolenge Eid Mubarak

Radhe hasn't come to leave, he's come to send people ... and we all will eat the biryani of your share ... and we'll say have a blessed Eid

Tumhari umar mere tajurbe se bahut kam hai ... tumne utni Diwaliyan nahi dekhi hai jitni maine tum jaise bikne waalon ki barbaadiyan dekhi hai

Your age is much less than my experience ... you haven't seen as many Diwali's, as many as I have seen the destruction of people like you who take bribes

Laxmi ji ki kripa se paisa toh itna hai ki Dhanteras pe aap hi ki dukaan khareed ke aap hi ko gift karde

By the grace of Goddess Laxmi I have so much money that, I can buy your shop on the festival of Dhanteras and gift it to you itself

Bachpan se aaj tak maine kabhi Holi nahi kheli ... magar ab kheloonga khoon ki Holi

I've never played Holi all my life ... but now I will play Holi with blood