Comedy Dialogues

Itna susu laate kahan se ho tum?

Where do you get so much urine from?

Hum bajaye toh kaano mein pain ... aur yeh paade bhi toh Tansen

If I play then it is pain in the ears ... and even if he farts then he sounds like Tansen

Main usko pencil ki tarah cheel daloonga ... uske tukde tukde kar daloonga ... uske tukde kutton ko khilaonga aur kutte billiyon ko khila daloonga

I'll strip him like a pencil ... I'll cut him into pieces ... I'll feed his pieces to the dogs and I'll feed the dogs to the cats

Yeh world hai na world, is mein do prakaar ke log hote hai ... ek woh joh galat kaam nahi karte aur pakde bhi nahi jaate ... aur doosre woh joh galat kaam toh nahi karte, par bechare phir bhi pakad liye jaate hai

There are two kinds of people in this world ... first who don't do wrong things and hence don't get caught ... and second who don't do wrong things as well, but yet the poor ones still get caught

Chand ko todh doonga, suraj ko phod doonga ... agar tu haan kehde, toh pehle waali ko chhod doonga

I'll break the moon, I'll smash the sun ... and if you say yes, then I'll leave the first girl

Dil mein joh hai woh bol dena chahiye ... aaise dabake nahi rakhna chahiye ... acidity ho jaati hai

You must say whatever is in your heart ... you shouldn't hide it ... because it causes acidity

Aadmi purani cheezon se ughta jaata hai ... aur nayi cheezon se uthta jaata hai

People get bored of old things ... and they get excited with new things

Saala, pehli mein chokri legaya ... doosri mein naukri

Bloody, in the first (film) he took the girl ... in the second job

Tum ek number ke chor, luchche, lafangey, bhagode ho ... desh ke jawano ke naam pe kalank ho ... zeherilay saanp ka dank ho

You're a thief, scoundrel, rascal, fugitive of top quality ... you're a disgrace in the name of youth of this country ... you're a bite of a poisonous snake

Sabzi kharab ho toh usse phek dete hai ... lekin aadmi kharab hai kaike, usse phekte nahi ... sudhaar lete hai

If a vegetable goes bad we throw it away ... but we can't say a man is bad and throw him away ... instead we improve him

Gazab ki maang hoti hai joh dil ko maang leti hai ... ek aaisi taang hoti hai joh dil ko taang deti hai

The demand that demands for the heart is amazing ... it is like a leg that keeps the person hanging

Mard aur aurat mein kadhai karchi ka rishta hove ... akele rehve toh manoosiya ... aur saale saath rehve toh khana kan, khana kan, khana kan

The relationship of a man and a woman is like that of a pan and a stirrer ... when they are alone, they are useless ... and when they stay together, then they make a lot of noise

Is vidya ke mandir mein ... yahan vidya ki murat hai toh wahan vidya ka bhashan hai ... magar afsoos is baat ka hai ki hamare paas "Dirty Picture" ki Vidya Balan nahi hai

In this temple of knowledge ... here we have an idol of knowledge and there we have a lecture on knowledge ... but unfortunately we don't have Vidya Balan from the movie "The Dirty Picture"

One kiss burns many calories ... want to lose some weight?

One kiss burns many calories ... want to lose some weight?

Ladki thi jawaan, mamla tha sangeen ... jana tha Japan, pahunch gayi Cheen

The girl was young, the situation was serious ... she wanted to go to Japan, but she reached China

Woh nahi koi aur sahi ... koi aur nahi koi aur sahi

If it's not her then it will be someone else ... and if it's not someone else then it will be someone else

Zindagi jhaant hai ... phir bhi thaant hai

Your life sucks ... but you still have style

Naukri milne ke baad kaam rahe na rahe ... lekin naukri dhoondna bahut bada kaam hai

Whether there is work or not after I get a job ... finding a job is big work itself

Hello Mrs. Agarkar ... we all know you love purana cricketer Gavaskar ... but we are very very sorry to tell you there is no one greater than apna Sachin Tendulkar

Hello Mrs. Agarkar ... we all know you love the old cricketer Gavaskar ... but we are very very sorry to tell you that there is no one greater than our Sachin Tendulkar

Suna hai lift ki deewaaron ke kaan nahin hote

I have heard that walls of an elevator do not have ears