Comedy Dialogues

Main kunwari hoon ... tezz kataari hoon ... par main tumhari hoon

I'm a bachelorette ... I'm fast and sharp ... but I belong to you all

Jab do haathon se taali baj rahi ho, toh beech mein mooh nahi gusedhte bachche ... ungliyan chap sakti hai gaalon pe

When someone is clapping with two hands, then you should not push your face in between ... the impression of fingers will get drawn on your cheeks

Minister ki nishani aur kaam gairkanooni ... phir bhi dil hai Hindustani?

He has the signs of a Minister and does illegal work ... but still he is Indian at heart?

Hamara father north Indian, hamara mother south Indian ... is liye hum complete Indian

My father is a north Indian, my mother is a south Indian ... that is why I am a complete Indian

Manushya joh hai woh aata hai jaane ke liye ... aur hum andar ja rahe hai bahar aane ke liye

A human comes so that he can go ... and we are going inside only to come outside

Bina murga bane vidhya nahi aati

Knowledge does not come without becoming a chicken

Arre made in China Mastani ... teri masti main nikalta hoon ... dikha na paaye face kisi ko ... teri naak abhi main kaat'ta hoon

Hey made in China Mastani ... I'll fix your naughtiness ... you won't be able to show your face to anyone ... as I'll cut your nose out

Main toh sirf tumhari tasveer hi kheench raha tha ... tum toh meri film utaar rahi ho

I was only taking your photo ... but you are shooting a film on me

Phukhat ke chaiyan, phukat ke cigarettan, phukat ke samosa khake ... angrezon ke baare mein socho bole toh tum logan kya karre re ... kya samjhe re tum logan mereku ... maa-ki-kirkiri!

You guys after having free teas, free cigarettes, free samosas ... are simply doing nothing to think about the foreigners ... what do you think I am ... you pain in the ass!

Jitni tu sexy hai ... utni danger hai

The sexy you look ... that much dangerous you are also

Skirts ke naam pe ghagra pehenke aati ho tum

In the name of skirts you wear a long skirt

Tum jaisi auraton ke pair ke neeche swarg hota hai ... aur aaj kal ki auraton ke pair ke neeche sandal ... joh sadak pe kam aur mardon ke sarr pe zyada chalti hai

Women like you have heaven beneath your foot ... but women of today have a sandal under their foot ... which is used less on the road and more on the head of men

Abhe mobile tower bulaya tha ... yeh sim card kahan se aa gaya

I had called for a mobile tower ... where did this sim card come from

Jaise English mein saboot ko proof kehte hai ... ghar ki chhat ko roof kehte hai ... vaise hi har language mein aap jaison ko bewakoof kehte hai

Just like "saboot" is called proof in English ... the roof of the house is called "chhat" ... just like that in every language people like you are called fools

Hamara system bachon ke diaper ki tarah ho chuka hai ... kahin thoda geela aur kahin se thoda dheela

Our system has become like a kids diaper ... somewhere it's a little wet and somewhere it's a little loose

Naya aashiq purane sharaabi ki tarah hota hai ... har jagah usse botal nazar aati hai

A new lover is like an old alcoholic ... he sees a bottle everywhere

Mujhe do minute mein pet bhar waali koi Maggi nahi ... balki saat janamon ka pyar dene waali chahiye ... mujhe DP nahi BP chahiye, beautiful patni

I don't need Maggi (noodles) that fills your stomach in 2 minutes ... instead I need someone who can love me for 7 rebirths ... I need a BP (Beautiful Partner) and not a DP (Display Picture)

Yeh sharif log bahut badmash hote hai ... sharafat ki zubaan nahi samajhte hai

These honest people are very rogue ... they don't understand the language of honesty

Apni poori zindagi hi filmy hai

My whole life is cinematic

Zindagi murdajali ka naam hai ... zinda dil kya khaak jeete hai

Life is the name of apathy ... the people with enthusiasm hardly live their life