Comedy Dialogues

Abhe tune teri shakal dekhi hai ... chudail kahinki ... tere mooh pe toh main paadon bhi nahi

Have you seen your face ... you're like a witch ... I wouldn't even fart on your face

Look change karne se insaan change nahi hota

By changing the look a person doesn't change

Abhe aye dhakan ... yeh phone ke andhar hi mooh daalke tereko aaisi gaali doonga na ... ki aakhe telephone exchange mein angaar lag jayegi

Hey you crazy ... I will put my face in the phone and curse you so badly ... that the entire telephone exchange will be on fire

Hum fauj mein the aur hamare desh vasi mauj mein the

I was in the military and the people of my country were having fun

Hum karte fight aur tu karta bark hai ... abhe fish tank ke machhi hum samundar ke shark hai

We fight and you just bark ... you're like a fish in the fish tank and I'm like a shark in the ocean

Main lifetime guarantee deti hoon

I'll give you a lifetime guarantee

Apni biwi ko hamesha is dokhe mein rakho ki har baar wohi jeetti hai ... sukhi rahoge

Keep your wife under the false impression that she wins every time ... you'll stay happy

Joh jee nahi sakta hai tumhare without ... uspe tumko itna hai doubt

Someone you cannot live without you ... you are doubting that person

Morning morning mein gents ka paise mangna ... ladies ke liye bahot bura bad luck honda hai

Gents asking for money early in the morning ... is a big bad luck for ladies

Filmy gaane gayega toh paise kamayega ... varna upar waale ke naam par bhookha marr jayega

If you sing songs from the movies then you'll make money ... or else you will die hungry in the name of god

Mujhse related sari cheezein world mein ban hai ... toh mere glasses bhi Ray-Ban hi honge na

Everything related to me is banned in the world ... hence my glasses should also be Ray-Ban

Bhindi sa shareer lekar Undertaker ki diet follow kar rahi hai yeh toh

She has a body like okra but she follows the diet of Undertaker

Dil sadda hai Hindustani, camera sadda je Japani ... te photo khichega suhani

My heart is Indian, my camera is Japanese ... and I take very beautiful photos

Sorry ji, galat ungli ho gayi

Sorry wrong finger

Bhala kya mel hai mera tumhare saath huzoor ... yahan pe bijli, toh haddi yahan par atki hai

You don't belong to my league ... your bones are stuck as you've been hit by lightning

Bade bade dekhe hai ... lekin aapse bada nahi

I have seen very big people ... but none bigger than you

I go out on all dates ... Sundates, Mondates all dates up till Saturdates

I go out on all days ... Sunday, Monday all days up till Saturday

Manju ... mere khawabon ki rani, mere pyar ki nishani, meri mohabbat ki biryani

Manju ... you are the queen of my dreams, the memento of my love, the biryani of my romance

Thandi thandi rabdi vich garma garam Jalebi pao ... te phir khao ... toh phir wow

Adding hot Jalebi to cold sweet condensed milk ... and then eating it ... is like wow

Aap toop ho ... main toh kehta hoon aap Pope ho

You are great ... infact I am saying you are the Pope