Comedy Dialogues

Main dikhta hoon sweet, innocent, swami type ka na ... lekin actually hoon bahut bade harami type ka

Don't I look someone who is of the type of a sweet, innocent saint ... but I'm actually someone who is of the type of a big rascal

Bollywood makes Hollywood look like film school ... you love to hate it ... hate to love it

Bollywood makes Hollywood look like film school ... you love to hate it ... hate to love it

Har Mummy ka khana yummy hota hai

Every mom's food is yummy

Bahut goor raha hai ... kya behen ki shaadi karayega muhjse?

You are staring a lot ... do you want to wed your sister with me?

Jab hum muskurate hai ... toh dushmano ke dil dahil jaate hai

When I smile ... then the hearts of my enemies get scared

Pata nahi tum kaun se zamane se transport ho kar aaye ho

Not sure, from what era have you been transported

Hickory dickory aane dock ... hoon karu chhu walk aane aa saaro kare chhe talk

Hickory dickory dock ... I can walk and this rascal can talk

Ek pair past mein hai teh ek pair future mein hai ... tabhi toh hum aaj pe moot rahe hain

We have one leg in the past and one leg in the future ... that's why we're peeing on the present

Agar kisi ladke ko film dekhni hai toh sirf ladki ke saath dekhni chahiye ... nahi toh film ki insult hai, theater ki insult hai aur theater mein dekhne waali sari audience ki insult hai

If a boy has to see a film then he must see it with a girl only ... otherwise it is an insult of the film, insult of the theater and insult of the entire audience in the theater

Jaise ek ghar mein do kitchen nahi hote hai na ... vaise ek ghar mein do brain nahi hone chahiye

Just like in one house you don't have two kitchens ... just like that in one house you shouldn't have two brains

Thair paapi ... main teri zubaan kheench ke loonga

Wait you evil ... I will pull your tongue

Main toh aakhi zindagi samajhdari ki baat karte rehta hoon ... magar afsoos ki baat yeh hai ki pehli martaba meri samajhdari ki baat aapki samajhdari ki pitaari mein utari hai ... samajhe ki nahi?

I keep talking about sensible things my entire life ... but it's a pity that for the first time my sensible point has entered into your pot of senses ... does that make sense?

Saali shopping khatam nahi hoti inki ... pehle cushions aaye, phir curtains aaye ... phir cushions curtains se match nahi kiye toh aur cushions aaye ... saale mug itne hai mere yahan ki unhe bechne jaon toh mahine ka kharcha nikal aaye

Bloody their shopping never ends ... first the cushions came, then the curtains came ... then the cushions did not match the curtains so more cushions came ... bloody I have so many mugs at my place that if I go to sell them then it will cover a full month's expenses

Gas ho jaye khatam toh jala lo chula ... shehar mein swayamvar kyun kare jab bagal mein ho dulha

If the gas is over then burn the grill ... why should we have the wedding in the city when the bridegroom is next to us

Love is blind ... but in my case the lover is blind

Love is blind ... but in my case the lover is blind

(Khud ko Shahrukh Khan samjhe hai ke?) ... Shahrukh ka mazaak mat udhao ... manne bahut pasand hai ... jab woh ladki ke aankh mein aankh daalke dekhe hai na toh andhi ladki bhi patt jaave hai

(Do you think you're Shahrukh Khan?) ... Don't make fun of Shahrukh ... I like him a lot ... when he looks into the eyes of a girl, then even a blind girl will fall for him

Ladkiyan do kisam ki hoti hai ... high voltage, low voltage

Girls are of two types ... high voltage and low voltage

Mere Sohni Mahiwal ki love story ke andar interval toh ho sakta hai ... lekin the end kabhi nahi hona chahiye

In the love story of my love birds there can be an interval ... but there should never be an ending

Kiss ho nahin paati yaar ... kyun ki naak beech me aa jaati hai

Never have been able to kiss ... because the nose comes in between

Shaadi ke do golden rules yaad rakho ... rule no. 1 aaisa kuch mat karo jisse tumhare partner ko dukh ho ... rule no. 2 agar karo bhi toh kisi ko pata mat lagne do

Remember the two golden rules of marriage ... rule no.1 don't do anything that will make your partner sad ... rule no. 2 even if you do something then don't let anyone come to know about it