Comedy Dialogues

Tera pati hai na harami, tedha hai par tera hai

Your husband is very naughty, but still he's yours

Roses are red, violets are blue ... roz roz SMS karne waale, kaun hai be tu?

Roses are red, violets are blue ... who are you, sending me texts everyday?

Acting kya hai, oxygen hai ... uske bagaira mar jayenge

Acting is nothing but oxygen ... we'll die without it

Yeh theater hai theater ... yahan drama nahi chalega

This is a theater ... here we don't want any drama

Chandni raat, haathon mein haath ... peeche se padi baap ki laat

It was a moonlit night, her hand was in my hand ... and from behind her father kicked me

Problem yeh hai ki main chahta hoon meri life mein koi problem hi na ho ... lekin agar meri life mein koi problem na ho na ... toh yeh uski life ki sabse badi problem hai

The problem is that I want there to be no problems in my life ... but if there are no problems in my life ... then that's the biggest problem of her life

Maut aankhon ke samne hoti hai na ... toh achchon achchon ki Gateway of India ho jaati hai

When death is front of the eyes ... then even the best of the best persons position, becomes like the Gateway of India

Aapke nas nas mein yeh shak ka virus ghus gaya hai

The virus of suspicion has entered in your veins

Jab hum aapse kuch poochna chahe toh aap hum mein rokti hai ... aur jab chup ho jaye toh tokti hai

When I try to ask you something you stop me ... and when I keep quiet you invoke me

Is baar angrezi mein Barack Obama ki maa bhi tumhe fail nahi kar sakti

This time in English even Barack Obama's mother won't be able to fail you

Jahan 'kh' se khush hokar jeena chahiye wahan 'kh' se itne khamosh baithe ho ... arre 'kh' se itne khoye khoye ho ... ki pata hi nahi chalta ki aap ghar pe ho

Where you should be happy in life there you are sitting so quietly ... you are so lost ... that one does not know if you are home or not

Itna maroonga tujhe itna maroonga ki meri behen toh kya ... tu apni hone waali biwi ko bhi behen kahega

I'll hit you so much that forget my sister ... you'll even call your fiance as your sister

Aaye toh the sharafat se ... lekin jayenge toh dhoom machake

I came here with honesty ... but I'll go with a bang

Na sunta nahin hai mujhe

I cannot hear no

I not study IIT ... but IIT study me

I didn't study at IIT (Indian Institute of Technology) ... but IIT did study me

Mera to bas ek hi funda hai ... side uski lo jisme jeet apni ho

I have just one fundamental ... to win go with the winning side

Yeh body hai na ek temple hai ... isse hamesha saaf rakhna chahiye

This body is a temple ... you should always keep it clean

Mujhse baimaani mat karna main bahut pahuncha hua aadmi hoon ... baimaani mein shaitan ko tuition deta hoon

Don't cheat with me since I'm a very recognized person ... and when it comes to cheating then I give tuitions to the devil

Yeh koi Hindustani sulabh shauchalay nahi ... jahan bandh hone waali cheez khulti nahi aur khulne waali cheez bandh nahi hoti

This is not an Indian toliet ... where the thing that is supposed to close does not open and the thing that is supposed to open does not close

Mood hai mera ... baap hoon tera!

It's my mood ... I am your father!