Comedy Dialogues

Signal pe rukne waale har ek aadmi ke bheje mein ek-hich tension rehta hai ... ki kab yeh signal apna rang badle aur kab woh idhar se nikal jaye ... idhar bitayele dus se pandra second bhi, saale ko ghante ke maafit lagte hai

Every person that stops on a signal has only one tension in his mind ... that when will this signal change its colour so that he can move ahead ... even the 10 to 15 seconds that he spends here, feels like an hour to him

Women can fake orgasm ... why the hell can't they fake silence?

Women can fake orgasm ... why the hell can't they fake silence?

Woh yeh soochte hai ki tum kuch jaanti ho ... par woh yeh nahi jaante ki tum kuch nahi jaanti

They think that you know something ... but they don't know that you don't know anything

Subah subah jab koi bole mujhe apna bana lo ... toh samajh jao ki waqt aa gaya hai ki Godrej hair dye kholo, gholo aur laga lo

In the morning when someone says to make them your dear one ... then understand that the time has come to open Godrej hair dye, mix it and apply it

Badi badi fights mein aaisi choti choti maar toh lagti rehti hai

In big big fights such small small injuries do happen

Tumhare jism mein main itne chhed kar doonga ... ki marne ke baad bhi saale basuri ki tarah bajhte rahoge

I will make so many holes in your body ... that bloody even after dying you will play like a flute

Kaun kehta hai bada size sab par bhaari hai ... kabhi machar ke saath ek raat guzari hai

Who says that you need something big to cause trouble ... have you ever spent a night with a mosquito

Dukaan khuli nahi toh saala curfew lag gaya

My shop had hardly opened and a curfew was called

Aye amavas ke chamakte chaand

Hey you, the shining moon of a new moon night

Iski janam kundli mein toh sab kundli maarkar behthey hain

In his horoscope everyone is sitting in a coiled position

Aye kaam legal hai ... aaj se hi nahin, Mahabharat ke time se

This work is legal ... not from today, but from the days of Mahabharata

Do farsan, do misthan, papad, pulav, kadhi, kachumbar, poori, paratha, aachar ... puri unlimited thali ho tum

Two snacks, two sweets, chips, rice, curry, crushed veggies, fried wheat flour, flatbread, pickle ... you are an unlimited food plate

Angrez log jab hamari shaadi dikhate hai toh usse bolte hai "Monsoon Wedding" ... aur jab Hindustani log shaadi dikhate hai toh usko bolte hai "Soon-Soon Wedding" ... iska matlab chat mangni pat wedding

When the Englishmen show our wedding they call it "Monsoon Wedding" ... and when Indians show the wedding they call it "Soon-Soon Wedding" ... which means quick engagement and quick wedding

Tu gori main kala ... dono ka banega garam masala

You're fair and I'm dark ... together we'll make a hot mixture of spices

Ibtada-e-ishq hai, rota hai kya ... toilet paper hai, dhota hai kya?

It's the beginning of love, why do you cry ... there is toilet paper, do you want to wipe with that?

Hum toh dil ke saudagar hai ... dil khareedte hai ... dil bechte hai

I am a heart merchant ... I buy hearts ... I sell hearts

Banta nahi hero muscle yah metal parts se ... banta hai aur mitta hai superhero sirf apne heart se

A hero is not made from muscles or metal parts ... a superhero is made and perished only by his heart

Jitna dimaag tere paas hai na ... utna mera kharab rehta hai

The total quantity of brain that you have ... I usually lose that much quantity of my brain

Aapka haath hai ya hathoda ... aapke hisse ko kis hadse ne toda

Is it your hand or a hammer ... but which incident broke your part

Mereko Yash Chopra waala pyar karna hai ... Prem Chopra waala nahi

I want to love like Yash Chopra ... not like Prem Chopra