Comedy Dialogues

Aasmaan mein thookne waale ko shayad yeh pata nahin hai ... ki palat ke thook unhi ke chere par giregi

The one who spits in the sky does not know ... that the spit in turn will fall on his face

Apun ko private property nahi banna ... apun public property hi thik hai

I don't want to become a private property ... I am fine being the public property

Samundar ki machli, ladki ka dil aur currency note pe kisi ka naam nahi likha hota ... jiske haath lagi us hi ki sagi

A fish in the sea, a girls heart and a currency note does not have a name written on it ... it belongs to the person who has it

Samajh samajhke samajh ko samajho toh samajhna bhi ek samajh hai ... samajh gaye?

If you understand the understanding then to understand is also an understanding ... did you understand?

Ek ek paisa gin lena thook laga ke ... yeh ho na ho hum toh traditional kaminey log hai

Count every note with your spit ... he may not be, but we are traditional rascals

Jail to hamra sasural hai bhaiya ... roz item girl party hogi

Brother, prison is my in-laws home ... everyday there will be a party with dancer girls

Aaj ya toh insaaf hoga ... ya mamla saaf hoga

Today either there will be justice ... or the case will be cleared

Jab bete ki ghar mein shikayatein aane lage aur gaon mein charcha hone lage ... toh samjho beta jawan ho gaya

When the complaints for a son start coming into the house and people start talking about it in the village ... then understand that he has become young

Pyar picturon mein hi achcha lagta hai ... extra baatein edit kar dete hai

Love only looks good in movies ... they edit the extra stuff

Humour achchi hai ... thoda sense daloge toh sense of humour ho sakta hai

Your humour is good ... but add some sense to it then it will become sense of humour

Abhi mood nahin hai

I am not in the mood

Badminton court jao, tennis court jao, food court jao ... lekin woh court mat jaana

Go to a badminton court, tennis court, food court ... but don't go to the real court

Hum itna din se apply apply aap no reply ... aaj hum apply nahin aaya aap reply

I have been applying since so many days and you never replied ... today I didn't apply and you replied

Yeh chehre ki rangat gulabi gulabi ... yeh mausam ki halat sharabi sharabi ... mera dil machalke keh raha hai ... something, something, something, something

Your pink coloured face ... this alcoholic condition of the weather ... my heart is jumping around and saying ... something, something, something, something

Patli ho ya moti ... poori janta mooh se lagayegi aapki goti

Be it slim or fat ... the whole world will kiss your marbles

Alag alag hai swad iske, strawberry pista aur kele ... dhood hi lena hai toh lele, dhood Lele

It has different flavors, strawberry pistachio and banana ... if you want to buy milk, then buy Lele milk

Jab sulphate, oxygen, nitrogen aur hydrogen in chaaron ko ek cylinder mein bhar do na ... toh choola nahi ghar jalta hai ... blast hota hai blast

When you add sulphate, oxygen, nitrogen and hydrogen all four together in a cylinder ... then a stove doesn't burn, but the whole house burns down ... it's a total blast

Vadiya vadiya kha te vadiya vadiya pehen ... load na le ... asar padega sperm pe

Eat good and wear good ... don't take load ... it will affect the sperms

Opposition agar janta ko bhashan deti hai ... toh hum janta ko ration denge

If the opposition gives speeches to the people ... then we will give ration to the people

Hamare Hindustani culture mein ek aur baat kehte hai ... ki pehle pyar se samajhao, phir sharafat se samajhao, phir baat se samajhao ... aur jab samajh mein nahi aaya na toh thapad se aur phir laat se

In our Indian culture we say one thing that ... first make them understand with love, then make them understand politely, then make them understand with words ... and if they still don't understand then use slaps and kicks