Comedy Dialogues

I keel dead peepal!

I kill dead people!

Tumhara ishq, ishq ... aur humara ishq, sex

Your love is love ... and my love is sex

Main bhi toh ... kid hi hoon

Even I am ... a kid

Khud ka shakal bulldog jaisa hai, humko dog bula raha hai

Your face is like that of a bulldog and you're calling me a dog

Meri kundli mein likha tha ki main foreign shift ho jaonga ... yeh nahi pata tha ki main yahin se hi lift ho jaonga

It was written in my horoscope that I'll shift to a foreign country ... but I didn't know that I'll die over there

100% original fake hai ji

It is 100% original fake

Undi the condi of his heart

Understand the condition of his heart

Main tum bin adhoora, jaise namak bin daal ... daal bin bhat, bhat bin Bengal

I'm incomplete without you, just like lentil soup without salt ... like rice without lentil soup and Bengal without rice

Saanp aur paap hamesha chaap chhod jaate hai

A snake and a sin always leave a mark

Tera mooh baatein karta hue achcha nahi lagta hai ... Fevicol dhal uske andhar

Your mouth doesn't look talking ... put glue in it

Kayi baar off-beat cheezein logon ko beat pe laati hai

Many times off-beat things bring a person in sync with the beat

Duniya ko baanta ... humko tata

You shared with the whole world ... and saying bye to me

Bahut sasti ho chuki ho tum ... tumhe dene ke liye hamare paas chillar bhi nahin hai

You have become very cheap ... I don't even have lose change to give you

Jeete raho ... phulo phalo ... khair chodo

Live long ... grow your family ... well let it be

Aye silent picture ke dubbing artist

Hey you dubbing artist of a silent film

Jab tak biwi aur TV colourful na ho toh maza hi nahi aata

It is no fun until the wife and the TV are both colorful

Vapas karde mera meter mujhko ... nahi toh ek jhappad mein bhej doonga Punjab tujhko

Return my meter to me ... or else I'll send you to Punjab with one tight slap

Jab mile badiya toh kaun dekhega budiya

When you are getting good stuff then who will look at the old lady

Tu Munna Bhai hoga lekin main Circuit nahi hoon ... tu Batman hoga lekin main Birdman nahi hoon ... tu hero hoga lekin ab main bhi hero hoon

You may be Mr. Munna, but I'm not Mr. Circuit ... you may be Batman, but I'm not Birdman ... you may be a hero, but now even I'm a hero

Ek level ke baad insaan nahi ... daaru bolne lagti hai

After a certain level a person doesn't do the talking ... the alcohol does