Comedy Dialogues

Dimaag kharch karne se ... dimaag kam nahi hota

Using your brain ... does not diminish it

Abhe oh ujhdi hui riyasat ke lutte huye sultan

Hey you broken ruler of a ruined kingdom

Kauve ne cheel ka chuma liya ... aur cheel ne chuhe ka bachcha pehda kiya

A crow kissed a vulture ... and the vulture gave birth to a mouse's child

Bruce Lee se zyada zaroori ab life mein saheli hai

A girlfriend is more important in your life than Bruce Lee

Main toh roz vilayat jata hoon ... aur roz vilayat se aata hoon

I go everyday to a foreign country ... and everyday I come back from a foreign country

Khudi ko kar buland itna, ki tu Himalaya pe ja pahunche ... aur Khuda khud tujhse yeh pooche, abhe laikhat utrega kaise?

Elevate yourself to such an extent, that you reach the Himalaya ... and God himself will ask you, you fool how will you get down?

Pajame ne kaha dhoti se ... bane hum dono ek dhaage se ... farak agar hai hum mein toh sirf itna ... tu khulti peeche se, main aage se

The pajama said to a loincloth ... we both are made from one thread ... if there is a difference between us then it's only that ... you open from the back and I open from the front

Aaj ke baad aapka koi bhi aadmi yahan nazar nahi aana chahiye ... varna aaisi dhulai karoonga ki saath pushton tak aapki aulad ganji pehda hongi

From today none of your men should be seen here ... or else I will smash you guys so bad that for the next 7 generations your children will be born bald

Arre yeh saale Majnu bhai patthar khane waale kaam karte hai ... khud ko toh Laila milti nahi ... aur jisko mil-rehli hai us mein bhi fingerbaazi

Mr. Majnu does the kind of work that calls for pelting stones ... he himself is not able to get Laila ... and he puts his finger in between those who are getting her

Cycle ka teen kilo weight kam ho gaya hai ... lekin tera ek gram bhi kam nahi hua

The cycle has lost three kilos weight ... but you haven't lost even one gram

Ladkiyan kapur ki tarah hoti hai ... teeli lagi nahi ki jalkar roshni dene lagti hai ... aur tum ladke tubelight ki tarah hote ho ... bahut der se jalte ho

Girls are like a camphor ball ... the moment a matchstick ignites they start spreading the light ... and you boys are like a tubelight ... you start very late

Joh bhi pyar se mila hum us hi ke ho liye ... jahan par khatiya mili hum wahin pe soo liye

Whoever I got with love, I became their partner ... and wherever I got a bed, I slept right there

Jis tarah dehle ke pehle nehla aata hai ... vaise hi guru ke pehle chela aata hai

Like 9 comes before 10 ... just like that a pupil comes before his teacher

Kya gaal hai ... kya baal hai ... yeh toh poori dhamaal hai

She's got great cheeks ... she's got great hair ... she's totally awesome

Yeh shaadi joh hai na woh public toilet hai ... jitne log bahar khade hai na, unko andar jaane ki jaldi hai ... joh log andar hai, unko bahar aane ki jaldi hai

Marriage is a public toilet ... the people standing outside, are eager to go inside ... and those who are inside, they are eager to come outside

Chalo meri jaan ... chal kar lagayein pyar ki dukaan

Let's go sweetheart ... let's go and open the shop of love

Tum log itna itna sa the talaab mein nange nahate the ... hum pakadkar bahar nikaalte the ... ab toh tum poore James Bond ho gaye ... saand ke saand ho gaye

You guys were so small and you used to bath naked in the pond ... and I used to catch you guys and take you out ... now you've become completely like James Bond ... infact you've become bulls

Bole toh ... khaneka, khujhaneka, batti bhujhaneka, soo janeka ... kya!

It means that ... you should eat, you should scratch, close the light, and sleep ... you understand that!

Ek baar gaya hoon moon pe ... bahut hi lul place hai

I've gone to the moon once ... it's a very dull place

Ek aalsi aadmi ko jab koi mushkil kaam do na ... toh koi na koi aasaan tarika dhoond hi leta hai karne ka

When you give a difficult task to a lazy person ... then somehow or the other he will find an easy way to do it