Comedy Dialogues

Shakal dekhi hai aaine mein ... amavas ke chand par Maggi noodles latkaye hue hai ... chudail kahinki

Have you seen your face in the mirror ... it looks like Maggi noodles are hanging on the moon of a no moon night ... you witch

Indians sab cheez mein best hai ... kissing mein bhi Indians hi best hai ... kabhi Emraan Hashmi ka naam nahi suna?

Indians are the best in everything ... even in kissing Indians are the best ... haven't you heard about Emraan Hashmi?

Gyan baatna chahiye re ... tu kya apne paas rakhke sada-rela hai

You should spread the knowledge ... why are you making it stale by keeping it with you

Gale lagata hoon bas ... gale mein latkata nahi hoon kisi ko

I only hug people ... I don't tie them to my neck

Do hafte dimaag chatengi table lena hai, table lena hai ... paanch ghante mall mein bitaake ek sadi si chappal uthake le aayengi ... aur phir agle do hafte dimaag chatengi table lena hai, table lena hai

For two weeks they will fry your brain that we need to buy a table, we need to buy a table ... and after spending five hours in the mall they will bring back an ugly pair of slippers ... and again for the next two weeks they will fry your brain that we need to buy a table, we need to buy a table

Saara din tu bhaukega ... ya kaatega bhi

Will you bark the whole day ... or will you bite also

Apne kaan ke saath saath apne shareer ke saare suraakh khol kar suno

Along with your ears keep all the holes of your body open and listen to me

Tere mein woh khami hai joh ek amir aadmi bhi khareed nahi sakta ... (kya?) ... gareebi!

You have something that even a rich person can't buy ... (what?) ... poverty!

Tum kya apne aap ko Mughal-e-Azam, hum log ko Anarkali samajhta hai be ... kitna nacha raha hai?

Do you think you are a royal king and we are salves ... how much are you making us dance?

Kisi mahaan aadmi ne kaha hai ke ... "Bade bade deshon mein aaisi choti choti baatein hoti rehti hai"

A famous person has said ... "Small things like this do happen in big countries"

Tere baba ne kya diya mereku ... ek lota, ek thali, ek lungi woh bhi phateli, ek potti woh bhi hateli ... arre tu hamesha samajhti mujh ko kamina, hat ja kidhar hai meri Meena

What has your father given me ... one mug, one plate, one loincloth and that to torn, one girl and that to crazy ... you have always considered me a rascal, move away now where is my Meena

Zindagi cash se nahi, credit card se bhi nahi ... credit pe chalti hai

Not on cash, neither on credit card ... life lives on credit

Utha le re baba, utha le ... mereko nahi re, in dono ko utha le

Lift it up God, lift it up ... not me, lift these two up

Murghi churai kasai se ... aur khabar phelai dakaar se

You stole the chicken from the butcher ... and you spread the news with a burp

Tum zara mooh kam kholo aur dimaag zyada khula rakho

Open your mouth less and keep your mind open more

Upar waale tera khel nirala ... kutte ki dumm ko seedha kar daala

Oh God your game is strange ... you've straightened a dogs crooked tail

Aap sir hamare khandan par kalank hai ... aap nange TV par gir gaye ... aap nange ladies par nahi gir sakte the

You're a disgrace to our family ... you fell naked on the TV ... why couldn't you fall naked on a woman

Sharaabi ko sharaabi nahi toh kya pujari kahoge ... gehun ko gehun nahi toh kya jwari kahoge

If you don't call alcoholic an alcoholic then what will you call him, a priest ... if you don't call wheat a wheat then what will you call it, sorghum

Jab mere baap ki hatti hai na ... meri bahut phatti hai

When my dad goes crazy ... then I get scared

Honth hai ya vacuum cleaner ... zabaan toh vapas dede

Are these lips or a vacuum cleaner ... atleast give me my tongue back